The "Turd" Word

Tonight when I was typing the "About Me" post (which, after all that typing, I ended up somehow losing and had to retype), my 3-year-old was busy talking and talking to me, hanging on my right arm and trying to poke buttons on the keyboard. Thanks to my martial arts training, I was able to put some of my blocking skills to use and deflect the jabs she was attempting, all the while busily typing. Then she got smart and snuck a finger to the mouse and clicked on something and made some things appear on the screen that shouldn't have appeared there...some box that gave me a lot of choices that I didn't take the time to read. I just decided to get it off the screen quickly before she managed to push the clicker again and with my luck delete the whole blog!!! As I kinda panicked and quickly grabbed the mouse from her, I said, "Oh you little turd!!!" She started laughing so hysterically that she could hardly hold herself up and had to lean her head directly on my right arm, so I was pretty much stuck, unable to type anymore! I just looked at her in total bewilderment until she said, "Say it again!" Then it dawned on me and I asked her, "Oh, are you laughing 'cause I called you a little turd?" to which she just dissolved into unconrollable gales of laughter once again! Needless to say, I started laughing with her...then, as a side note, did my motherly duty and said, "Umm, maybe Mommy should have picked a little better word to use with you, like 'You little turkey!'" Somehow that didn't quite have the same effect on her!

About Me...(something I copied from someone else's blog!)

1. What I was doing 10 years ago...Being Mommy to my first daughter

2. What I was doing 5 years ago...Hmmmm, I can't remember! These are hard questions! I'm still trying to remember yesterday :) I was probably pregnant or something!!! Actually, I wasn't but.......just can't remember!

3. What I was doing 1 year ago...Another hard one. Being a very busy mom. Oh yeah, training for a 10-mile run to see if I thought I could ever pull off a marathon. The marathon I think I will love but all the training would be hard for me just because it takes away from the already precious little time we have as a family. I want to do it at least once though. I had actually just written up my training plan for a marathon this last spring and found out I was pregnant! I think it was my subconscious way of procrastinating the hard training until next spring! :)

4. What I did yesterday...Laid low (am basically on bedrest until my baby's born) with my lovely family, then after everyone went to bed, went for a drive, stopped by one of my best friend's house, then just drove and listened to music just to get a little alone time in!

5. 5 snacks I enjoy...Chocolate, chocolate...oops! I suppose chocolate counts as only one; apples (occasionally I allow myself mmm-mm-m-m-m-m caramel dip); baby spinach; Caribou granola bars; chocolate!!!

6. 5 things I would do if I had 100 Million dollars...pay off our house and get a bigger place with at least 20 acres so I can have a HUGE garden, we have room for the kids to play, explore, build and get filthy dirty without neighbors watching on with raised eyebrows like we would be neglecting our kids (instead of actually allowing them to truly play)...we actually have fabulous neighbors....for the most part, a few of 'em just have different priorities than we have; pay off other debt; give our families (our sibs and parents) each a chunk of it; donate to our church; donate to our schools........WAIT!!! did I run out my 5 options already? I meant to definitely put in SHOPPING!!! New clothes, furniture, and a good 4-wheel drive!

7. 5 places I would run away to...warm and sunny beach resort first with my husband; warm and sunny beach resort with our whole crew; Finland to visit all our dear friends and family we have there (WITH all the kids...sorry crew and passengers on THAT flight! It's a long haul over the ocean); meander the U.S. in an RV with my hubby and kids; and a remote island for about a month for us to really grow to appreciate each other...of course it has to have a good boating area, swimming area, huge sandy beach to play on, nice, cozy and good-sized cabin, fireplace, bonfire pit....

8. 5 bad habits I have...procrastinating, being impatient with our dogs on occasion (I really do love 'em tho'), getting side-tracked too easily, not ever having laundry totally caught up (that probably falls in the procrastination category), and ignoring the phone from time-to-time (just a sanity-preserver)...since I listed 2 that would technically fit under procrastination, I have to add one more: any time I read a grammatical error, be it a typo or punctuation issue, or changing from tense to tense within one sentence, I have this ridiculous urge to pull out a pen and correct it (if it's in a newspaper, magazine, flyer) or click on it and correct it if it's on the computer! I better watch out though because between age and my brain being a few sizes too small for all that I have going on in life, I am just asking for someone to then come after me with their red pen or delete button and point out all the mistakes that I make on a regular basis! :)

9. 5 things I like doing...running, karate, writing, knitting/crocheting, playing piano

10. 5 TV shows I like... easy one! We don't have a TV

11. 5 things I hate doing...dusting!!! writing out bills (which I hate starting but once I get going it's not so bad); going through all the mail we get (bills, junk mail); going through all the paperwork and forms that having a family this size requires (school forms, clinic forms, and the like); and cleaning our vehicles cause there is just SO MUCH STUFF we find in there, and too often they resemble a long-forgotten science specimen!!! (again, once I get going I actually enjoy it...usually!)

12. 5 biggest joys...my kids!!! my husband!!! my sisters/siblings..all of our extended family; new babies; coffee dates with my friends/family (about 95% of the time in one of our homes with our children roaring around in the background)!

Thanks everyone for the fun idea! This is a good way to get to know someone, so if you're reading this, you've been tagged and must post on your blog.GOOD LUCK!

Make Room In The History Books!!!

Ahhh, so nice to have Daddy home! He just has a way to get the girls cheerfully (or sometimes not so cheerfully) helping out! The history in making is that since Daddy's gotten home, for the most part, I've been parked with my feet up or lying in bed and Dad and the girls have been running the show!!! Entirely!
One cheerful tomato dicer....
One cheerful taco salad bowl former....
The Enforcer (and Multitasker): getting the taco salad bowls into oven & browning hamburger...
And one dreamer...wishing she could go past that line! Our rules include one that states, "NO DOGS ALLOWED IN THE KITCHEN!!!" and both dogs know that. Our little Hailey here must have been only fed table foods in her old home because she obsesses about people food all the time! She can smell the ground beef browning for taco salad!

I'm SUPPOSED to be semi-bedrest!!!

I have a tendency to have my babies a little early...nothing too alarming, but I start to dilate and efface too early and have everyone on the edge of their seats for a few weeks before I have our babies! They have ranged from 8 days to 3 weeks early (and ranged in weights from 7lbs, 15oz to 9 lbs, 8 ozs!! Well, the 3 weights in between were 8lbs, 6oz, 8lbs, 8oz, and 8lbs, 9ozs...all early!!!!) Well, this time is no exception...I am not out to let anyone down here! At 32 weeks, baby was already at station "0", cervix had effaced to about 70% gone, and I had started to dilate already, 1-1 1/2. A week later, the only change is an 80% effacement. Well, needless to say, with 5 lovely cherubs, 2 young dogs and a husband out of town, it's pretty hard to "engage in only extremely light activities" like my doctor has mandated, but I have done relatively well. Tonight though, I was sure I would absolutely drop my baby out! We have a Great Dane "puppy" who is, at about 14 mos. old, over 100 lbs, and a newly adopted Beagle 3-yr-old, who is a relatively adjusted, mentally stable young dog. Our Great Dane is having some male issues of wanting to show he's dominant (he was here first!). It's taken awhile for us to slowly acclimate the 2 dogs to each other but tonight I decided that they are probably used to each other enough to move their crates near each other instead of at opposite ends of the house. Shortly after Hailey, the Beagle, was moved over into Mac's territory, we kenneled (crated) Hailey to let Mac out and about and to get used to the idea that his little buddy was going to be nearer to him than he had been used to. He immediately ran over to her crate, puffed his chest and stood as tall as he could..all the while with his ears plastered back against his head and tail between his legs (in other words, a bit intimidated by her but pretending he was so tough). She barked at him to back off and he took off running to the back of the house to the bedroom Hailey's crate had previously been. He then came out of the bedroom, draining his watermelon-sized bladder all the way down the entire length of the hallway, into the living room, onto the area rug, circling the entire rug (over our kindergartner's new tennis shoes for school) and was busted just as he was depositing the rest of his enormous tank on the rug, then floor right in front of the couch!!! I jumped up faster than any non-pregnant lady could have possibly jumped up and was after him SO fast, yelling, "NOOOOO, MAAAAC!!!!" I RAN down the stairs, with him in close pursuit, all the while fuming!!! "I HATE this DOG stuff that we have to deal with now!!! That's it! The dogs are gone!!!!" (and yes, by tomorrow I probably will like him again). I flew out the door with him to let him finish emptying his super-sized bladder, if there could possibly be anything left in it....only to have him continue to sniff EVERYWHERE for Hailey's scent, as if to say, "Ok, where has she been? Where? WHERE?" and never even bothered to finish peeing out there! He had suddenly decided enough was enough with this little pint-sized female coming in and slowly taking over his territory and decided to really mark his territory!!! My oldest daughter said that it was very clearly no accidental pottying (he had just been out about 1 1/2-2 hours before and definitely holds it longer than that!); she said that the entire time he was flowing, he was sniffing, sniffing, sniffing for Hailey's scent. I think he marked the rug extra well because he considers that his rug and she had been spending an awful lot of time on it lately!!! I mean, this is a very well house-trained dog and rarely has accidents. Now I am so sore! It feels like I've pulled a thigh muscle as well as lowered my abdominal range even lower...didn't think it was possible for this baby to be any lower but I think all that running caused the uterus to force its way a few more inches down!!! Yikes am I going to be in trouble if I go into labor so soon (I'm now 33 1/2 weeks). Let's all cross our fingers and toes that I hang in there for another 2 1/2 to 3 1/2 weeks still!!! :)

Oh NO!!! I did it AGAIN!!!

Today I went over to my husband's oldest brother's and his wife's home for lunch. My husand's youngest brother was visiting with his wife and their young son. None of us had seen their baby yet since they live in another state so this was their first trip back here since the baby was born. I was just relaxing and visiting..I had only one of my kids with because the other four were still in school so I was truly relaxed, when my father-in-law asked, "So, where is Eric now?" I stopped and did the brain freeze, "Uh, oh! Here's The Question again! I purposely drilled it into my head too, when I just talked to him...was it last night?" I quickly unfroze and said, "Ummm, Nebraska!!" I was kinda proud that I remembered, instead of trying the Tennessee thing again! Then I thought, "No! I purposely was gonna remember 'hamburger' so I would remember! " "No! It was Iowa! Hamburg, Iowa! Now I remember! He flew into Nebraska City, Nebraska, is staying in a hotel in Omaha, Nebraska and works in Hamburg, Iowa!" Now I was sailing!!! ;) Not even 10 minutes later when the younger brother arrived, the first thing he asked me was, "Now where did Eric go again?" Teeny, teeny brain freeze, then, "Nebraska!!!" His oldest brother (I didn't even know he was listening) pipes in, with a smirk, "Now, you just told us Iowa!" I had this tiny blank pause in my brain, then remembered! "Oh, yeah! Oops! He is staying in a hotel in Nebraska...Omaha, to be exact, and working in Hamburg, Iowa!" Then tonight when I talked to my husband again, I told him, pretty proudly, "Honey, I finally got it right! I told your family that you're working in Hamburg, Iowa, you flew into Nebraska City, Nebraska, and you are staying in a hotel in Omaha!!!" He just replied, "Flew into Omaha and am staying in Nebraska City!" I just had to laugh and say, "Well, I'm getting closer!!!" What do you do? I have so many other things to remember.....

WHERE IS MY HUSBAND???

I don't know why, but I have the hardest time keeping track of where my husband happens to be when he travels! It can be a little uncomfortable when someone asks, "Where is your husband now?" About 99% of the time I start out with a very blank look, wracking my brain, hoping that by some miracle I will be able to muster out his exact location before the silence becomes too long..."Okay, think, think, think!!! Ohio, Nebraska, Tennessee...oh, what city did he say he was driving into on his way to his hotel after work when I talked to him last night? A very common city in Tennessee..wait, he doesn't go to Tennessee..Oh, Iowa?" Then I am forced to confess, "Ummm, very good question! I will have to ask him again when I talk to him tonight! I just know that he's gone. He left on Sunday and he comes back on Friday afternoon! That's all that affects me cause then I'm a single mom for that time. Where he is just for some reason doesn't stick with me!" I get some pretty amazed looks! He only travels to a few locations here in the U.S. and infrequently goes out of the country. Now if he's in Mexico I can't forget...everyone asked me when they heard he's in Mexico, "Oh, is he there on vacation or otherwise?" Then I have to give them the amazed look! I say, "In Mexico on vacation???? In the middle of summer??? (for one thing, who would go there in the middle of summer?) Without me????" He wouldn't take a vacation without me, bless his heart! Only I can understand exactly how much this vacation means! What would either of us do on a vacation, especially in another country where we know no one, wandering around aimlessly not sure what to do with ourselves after nearly 11 years of being completely, 100% attached to these helpless, needy little individuals (our children) by ourselves??? Even if we didn't enjoy each other's company, we would need someone else to take up space next to us or we probably would break out in hives or some other allergic reaction from our minds and bodies completely unable to process life without another individual planted at our side! If he's in England, all I can think about is, "I wonder if he'll find me something amazing like last time?" He has incredibly good tastes when it comes to shopping for me! I think he knows my style better than I do myself! So England I don't forget either! So far those are the only international locations he's made and so far it's only been England once and Mexico going on twice, as of next Tuesday. See? I remember that he's leaving for Mexico on Tuesday! Right now, I am not completely 100% sure of where he is but I think it's Hamburg, Iowa! And, I know that he comes home Thursday!!! Not too bad, I think!

THREE!!!

A couple days ago, I had been taking my three-year-old Kaisa out of the tub when she requested that I sing, "Happy Birthday to you!" I obliged. When I got to, "Happy Birthday dear ........" she inserted, "Kaisa!" So we completed this birthday song to Kaisa. Afterward I sang the, "How old are you?" part of the song, to which she answered, "TEN!!!" She said this at each point in the song that it asks, "How old are you?" Then she asked me to sing the "How old are you?" part again and this time answered, "THREE!" Later, she was in the bathroom cleaning out her potty chair with wipes and I was in the dining room sweeping the floor. I didn't realize it but I was either humming or whistling the "Happy Birthday to you" song (or the "How old are you?" song). I could hear Kaisa the whole time just chattering non-stop in the bathroom, but as soon as the hummed/whistled version of my song ended, her chattering stopped and I heard this chipper, "THREE!" come out of the bathroom! She obviously was listening to what I was humming out there and felt obliged then to answer the unasked question of, "How old are you Kaisa? How old are you?" I laughed so hard!!!

Freeway Driving

Ever notice how driving down the freeway tends to have certain qualities that replay themselves over and over, just different characters to fill the roles? I was driving our 15-passenger boat (Ford E350 van) down the freeway the other day, doing a respectable 75 mph, when I came upon a slower moving vehicle in the right lane, the lane in which I happened to be driving in. I did what the good, diligent driver does, glanced in my mirrors and, upon noticing the nearest car behind me in the left lane was many, many car lengths behind, I transferred lanes to the left. As I was passing the slower moving vehicle, I noticed an immediate surge in the speed of the car behind me and soon I could feel the familiar sensation of testosterone breathing down my neck. I kept my passing speed at approximately 78 mph and soon was able to change lanes back to the right. Sure enough, a big-chested male driver surged past me on the left, like I had just inconvenienced him in his afternoon drive. He didn't get far because the vehicles in front of him weren't going any faster than I had been driving. I sometimes get this feeling that whenever anyone sees this bus-like van pull out anywhere near them, they automatically feel that since it's so huge, it's incapable of driving any faster than 55 mph, increases only about 2 mph every minute, and it stops for every railroad crossing. Did I remember to mention that this little mini-bus has a V10 engine in it? It is a mother's version of a Corvette, my dream sports car! For now, I have the best of both worlds. I can have my troops of five as well as any friends, pets or the like we may have travelling with us, and still maintain my dignity of blowing most other cars, trucks or vans out of the water if I decide to put the pedal to the metal!

Speaking of my little cherubs riding behind me...one major disadvantage of having such of a large vehicle is that it is incredibly difficult to hear anything that anyone is trying to say to me from the rear of the vehicle. Yesterday, for example, I had my youngest daughter with me as I was driving out to my sister's for an afternoon of visiting, drinking coffee and eating caramel rolls. All of the other girls are in school so it was just our toddler and me in the van. She recently decided that she wants her car seat in the 3rd bench back (there are 4 benches total). We actually have the first bench out so we can tote strollers, dogs, luggage, and so on in the space between the two front captain seats and the beginning of the kid passenger area. This makes it a little more challenging to hear the kids because the closest they can sit to us is two bench spaces back. This wouldn't be such of a bad setup except that we still can hear all the fighting but can never hear when a kid has something to tell us in a normal voice. Such as yesterday. Our 3-year-old was sitting directly behind me, in a place where I couldn't even read her lips in the rear view mirror if I tried. To add to the difficulty in our communication, she almost constantly has a pacifier in her mouth, which she can talk around amazing well. During our whole drive, I could hear this drone of a voice coming from behind me. Was it my daughter trying to communicate with me or the howl of the wind surging past our fast-moving vehicle, or the hum of the semis that were pretty much beside me the whole way? I never was entirely certain until I could suddenly hear this hideous, "MOM!! MO-O-O-M!!!" coming from that 3rd bench. So I would ask, "What?" only to hear the drone start again. I would occasionally try to urge her to try asking the question or tell me her comment using the same volume she had just screamed "MOM!" with, but she just didn't get it. It was a little easier when she would say, "Wight, Mom? Wight?" and I could just wing it and say, "Yup!" and hope for the best. Pretty soon though she began to add in, "Can I Mom? Can I? MOM, CAN I?" and I would toss an, "Um, sure!" over my shoulder, hoping again that my answer would suffice the question. It obviously wasn't a believable answer because an incredulous, "CAN I?" would follow. Finally we got to our exit and all the noises that accompany higher speed freeway driving stopped and I could hear her clearly. Then I realized what she kept asking over and over (because then the rest of our trip, which was mostly 30-45 mph driving after that and I could hear her clearly asking the same question continually) was, "Can I ride in that truck Mom?" and I would say, "Oh sure!" She would say, "Can I Mom? Can I?" and I would say, "Sure!" She would continue to ask, "Can I?" in a disbelieving tone until I would finally say, "Okay, absolutely not!" which would then be inevitably followed by, "Can I ride in that car then, Mom...Can I, can I?" to which the exact same scenario would follow every time!!! This continued until we got to the edge of the towns we had to pass through and just were entering the country. At the edge of town happened to be an elementary school that has a couple of very attractive playgrounds, which of course did not escape the notice of my observant 3-year-old. At this point, she began the next drill of, "Where is that park now, Mom? Huh, where is that park now? MOM, where is that park???" This continued the last 7 miles or so of our journey to my sister's house, AND, 2 hours later, just as we left from there, began again until we spotted the playground again! Thank goodness she fell asleep right after that so I didn't have to endure the painful drilling of, "Can I ride in that car Mom...Can I, huh, can I?" AGAIN!!!!!

DON'T MESS WITH THE PREGNANT LADY!!!

Well, I'm on week 33 of my pregnancy. On my last visit 3 weeks ago my doctor had the nerve to try to short me by about 5 days! I asked him when I start coming in more frequently, 'cause I was 30 weeks, 1 day at the time. He said, "Let's see, you're 29 weeks now, so make an appt for in 3 weeks and we'll start the every 2 week visits at that point!" I had to clear my throat and say, "Ahem, I think I'm at 30 weeks now!" He looked at my chart and said, "It says here that your due date is 11/9.." and I said (very kindly but quite determinedly...I mean, don't argue with a Pregnant Lady!!!.. right?), "And you said with my first ultrasound (at 9 or 10 weeks...waaaayyy too long ago to start changing it NOW, right?) that due to the baby's size, you will definitely go with the ultrasound date of 11/4..." So, he looks back in my chart and says, "Oh, yes, you're right (I KNEW THAT!), we'll have to change that!" THEN he proceeds to look at December's page in the calendar to look at the "change over day" and looks at 12/4, a Tuesday, instead of 11/4, a Sunday. He says, "Okay, so tomorrow you are technically 30 weeks!" Now, I realize he was close, but PLEASE don't cheat me any days, not even two!!! So I had to smile politely and say, "No...yesterday should have been the changeover day..I was 30 weeks yesterday. My brother-in-law, Dan, even figured it out for my sister, Gina, who is EXACTLY 4 weeks ahead of me, to the day! I was confused then, but NOT anymore!!!" So he goes BACK in the calendar and discovers his mistake and says, "Oh silly me! How could I keep messing this up? (My question exactly! ) You're right! You are now technically 30 weeks, one day!" Oh, to be pregnant!!! Like I always tell my kids, "Don't mess with The Pregnant Lady!!!"

P.S. They've asked me, "Why do you always say that? Even to the dogs?" I just tell them, "Just don't take any chances.. this pertains to the dogs too.. and you won't need to worry about it! " And, on a side note, yes I did say "dogS", meaning more than one!!! A few weeks ago we "adopted" a 3 year old Beagle, Hailey. She is MUCH easier for the kids to handle than Mac (whom we all do still love dearly, I might add). I didn't really love the thought of having two dogs but our Mac was getting really bad about wanting to get off his cable in the yard and "play" with other dogs and he's way too huge to play his style of playing with neighborhood dogs (jumping up on them...lawsuit-city with hip dysplasia being a problem with some dogs!). We decided between that and the girls probably won't be able to really handle Mac until he's at least 2 years old or more, it would be nice to have a smaller dog that they can tend to. She has been an excellent dog for the kids...they do 100% of her cares including pottying, brushing, washing, feeding, watering, walking, dressing up, etc. She loves kids and is extremely tolerant of their handling, which is a little too loving at times! She has actually been really good for Mac too 'cause if he ever goes overboard barking at her in excitement, she will run up to him and start barking in his face and he right away backs off with his ears plastered back to his head, a sign of submission in dogs. Then she quickly gets over it and waddles on her way! He's actually mellowing out now with her around!

Well, just made a trip to my OB doc today...at 32 weeks (yes 8 weeks early) I have already begin progressing WAY too much! That means that I have to slow WAY down and try to keep the baby in me at least another month! Very hard for me to do BUT one great advantage? I get to spend more guilt-free time on the computer! Bummer!!! :) So, now I can try to customize my blog and add some pictures and fun stories!

Finally a simple way to keep a log of my funnier moments with my troops!

I've long since wanted to write of my life because I find it so amusing, exhausting, rewarding, hexing, unnerving, and hopelessly fulfilled and would just find joy in jotting it down but am too lazy to always plug in my laptop and keep a journal! Our home computer and my work computer never shut off and this way I will have access to this blog at the touch of a button...now, if I can always remember the name of it and my username and password, I'm set! Can't wait to get rolling but for now I need to go potty our over-sized "puppy", a Great Dane, and see if I can put an end to the incessant hamster wheel-like squeaking of our new Beagle!