Sunday, August 9, 2009

A Not-So-Family-Friendly Side Show

Okay, for reasons that will be obvious after you read this post, there will be no pictures to accompany this little story.

This evening, before getting ready for work, I was cleaning a bit. I was in the middle of sweeping the dining room when I realized that it had become really pretty dark and almost greenish looking outside. I told the kids that were home that it looks a little tornado-y outside and I wondered if the sirens were going. I went to the patio door and opened it to hear a little better.

What I heard wasn't sirens. What I did hear was some drunkish sounding voices over in our neighbor's backyard, by their pool. I glanced over there to see a woman standing there and stating over and over, "You purposely did that! You did!" and so on. I heard the neighbor guy saying, "I did not. Now come back in the pool!" This was accompanied by laughter and such.

I was about to look back to the sky when another woman came out of the pool. I noticed that her swimsuit was a very light could have been mistaken for skin! When she turned around, I realized, it was skin!!! She was naked! Buck naked! Then the first lady I had seen came over with a large towel and wrapped it around the naked lady and herself so they were wrapped in it facing each other. And kind of jokingly exhibited some lewd behavior. Gag!!!!!!!!!

Then, as I was turning away, the neighbor guy came climbing out of the pool in all his naked glory! All I saw was very, very white bum cheeks and I had seen enough!!! I turned away. I warned the girls away (just my oldest and my toddler were there).

About a minute later I heard some really loud shouting and exclaiming! I still was a little in disbelief, thinking, maybe what I saw was some very white Speedos and other such various thoughts, so I glanced over (Now, ladies and gentlemen, you must realize, it is simply a glance out our patio door or picture window for full view of the neighbor's poolside, like pretty much from anywhere near the windows, a glance toward the neighbor's...we're slightly uphill from them). This time I was privvy to a lovely shot of Lady #2, naked. Neighbor Man, naked. Running! NOT a pretty sight! Front view. NOT good. And Neighbor Lady, wrapped in towel. Surely with suit still on. She's NOT the naked type. I finally had had enough. I went to the patio door and yelled out, "Okay, you guys. GET some CLOTHES on! My kids are over here, able to see everything! I have to keep them away from the windows right now!" No response. I shouted again. No response. I put my fingers in my mouth for a very sharp, very loud whistle. No response. Either these people are ignoring me, have drinking-induced deafness, or have music going that I can't hear above their excited shouting. Absolutely no response.

I shut the door in disbelief. I told the the girls to stay away from the windows if they want to avoid visual disturbances and possibly permanent, lifelong mental trauma and scarring. I was assured that they would.

I called the neighbor on the other side of them and asked what I should do. I told her I really didn't want to call the police on them since they periodically let us use their pool. Just kidding. I said that I would prefer to resolve this without police intervention since they are super neighbors and probably would be horrified if they realized that we saw everything. She told me that I should probably call the neighbors themselves, but then she remembered that they don't have a home phone anymore, only cell phones. I didn't exactly want to go knock on their backyard fence door since I didn't want to be greeted by someone displaying privates!

Her suggestion was to wait until they are sober and tell them, "Um, I'm not sure if you realize this but we have a very clear view into your pool area right from our living room and dining room. We saw some nakedness (or something like that) from our living room the other night...." I think that I will be informing them of that pretty much on our way to church Sunday morning! Or right when we get back! I really, really didn't like that side show!


kristin said...

Oh, my gosh!

Kristin said...

Oh no! That is just crazy! I think I would've totally went over there to let them know, maybe with my hands over my eyes as to not see any more than necessary. Ha!! I would definitely tell them....just to see the reaction on their faces! LOL!

One Fine Lady said...

I'm guessing they must have been drunk off their rocker to act like that!!! Wow! I wouldn't have liked that side show eiher.

Shellie said...

oooo how awkward, not to mention gross!